22 songs Brits don’t really know the lyrics for – so we make up our own

We've all been there. Singing along to one of your favourite tunes –when a friend points out you have been singing the wrong words for years…

New book Last Night a Bidet Drenched My Wife – that’s a misheard lyric of Indeep’s Last Night A DJ Saved My Life – highlights the most common mistakes and what they
should be…

Heavy rain is in my ears and in my eyes

Penny Lane is in my ears and in my eyes

Penny Lane – The Beatles

Boom Boom Boom let me hear you say Wales

Boom Boom Boom let me hear you say wayo

Boom Boom Boom – The Outhere Brothers

And we rely on each other hee-haw. From one donkey to another hee-haw

And we rely on each other ah ha. From one lover to another, ah ha

Islands in the Stream – Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers

You were working as a racist in a hostile bra, when I met you

You were workin’ as a waitress in a cocktail bar, when I met you

Don’t you Want Me – The Human League

Too shy shy, long conk, gammy eye

Too shy, shy, hush-hush, eye to eye

Too Shy – Kajagoogoo

You took a mystery and made Fred want it. You took a pedestal and put Daphne on it

You took a mystery and made me want it. You got a pedestal and put me on it

Chain Reaction – Diana Ross

I get locked, but I get in again, you’re never gonna lock me out. I get locked but I get in again you’re never gonna lock me out.

I get knocked down, but I get up again. You’re never gonna keep me down. I get knocked down, but I get up again, you’re never gonna keep me down

Tub thumping – Chumbawamba

Giant Steps are what you take. Farting on the moon.

Giant steps are what you take. Walking on the Moon

Walking on the Moon – The Police

Robert the Weirdo’s waiting. Talking in Vulcan.

Robert De Niro’s Waiting (Talking Italian)

Robert De Niro’s Waiting – Bananarama

Let’s get quizzical. Quizzical. I wanna get quizzical. Let’s get into quizzical

Let’s get physical. Physical. I want to get physical. Let’s get into physical

Physical – Olivia Newton John

When I get that feeling, I need saxophone cleaning

When I get that feeling, I need sexual healing

Sexual Healing – Marvin Gaye

All we hear is Lady O’Gaga. Lady O’GooGoo

All we hear is Radio ga ga, Radio goo goo

Radio Ga Ga – Queen

Ain’t no stopping us now. We’re in the nude.

Ain’t no stopping us now. We’re on the move

Ain’t No Stopping Us –McFadden and Whitehead

Don’t like the way you twerk it. No dignity.

I like the way you work it. No diggity

No Diggity – Blackstreet ft Dr Dre

Guinea, guinea, guinea a pig after midnight.

Gimme, gimme, gimme a man after midnight

Gimme! gimme! gimme! – Abba

If you don’t Naomi by now. You will never never never Naomi.

If you don’t know me by now, you will never never never know me

If You Don’t Know Me by Now – Simply Red

Tumble out of bed and stumble on a pigeon. Pour myself a cup of ambition.

Tumble out of bed and stumble to the kitchen. Pour myself a cup of ambition

9 To 5 – Dolly Parton

You make me feel like a natural salmon.

You make me feel like a natural woman

A Natural Woman – Aretha Franklin

Prince Charming. Prince Charming. Stop calling Mandy pretending to be Jason

Prince Charming.

Prince Charming. Ridicule is nothing to be scared of

Prince Charming by Adam and the Ants

We’re up all night to smoke baccy

We’re up all night to get lucky.

Get Lucky – Daft Punk

■ Relax. Don’t do it. When you wanna fax Judith

Relax. Don’t do it. When you want to go to it

Relax – Frankie Goes to Hollywood.

I was looking for some action and all I found were cygnets and a waterfall

I was looking for some action and all I found were cigarettes and alcohol

Cigarettes and Alcohol – Oasis

  • Last Night a Bidet Drenched my Wife: …and other misheard lyrics by @Trouteyes with Moose Allain, Blink Publishing, hardback £6.99. Available to pre-order now.

Source: Read Full Article