How do I tell my friend to get her own life and stop copying me?

DEAR DEIDRE: EVERYTHING I do, my friend copies. How do I tell her to get her own life?

We have been friends since school and have always had similar likes and dislikes.

For more advice from Dear Deidre

No issue is too small, too large or too embarrassing. Read our personal replies here.

  • Dear Deidre on Mental Health
  • Dear Deidre on Identity  
  • Dear Deidre on Debt and Money 
  • Dear Deidre on Work
  • Dear Deidre on Health and Wellbeing 
  • Dear Deidre on Addiction

At least that’s what I thought until I realised she mimics everything I do.

When I moved to London at the age of 24 for work, she also moved down south.

When I started to play netball for a local team, so did she.

And it’s continued for 20 years. We are both 45.

Now she’s copying my parenting. Her daughter, who is eight, dresses the same as mine, aged nine.

She has often bought the same toys and is enrolled in the same after-school clubs.

And if I buy my husband a new shirt or pair of shoes, my friend goes out and buys the same for hers.

Get in touch with Deidre

Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.

Send an email to [email protected]

You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.

I know I’m probably overreacting but it’s really starting to get on my nerves. I feel like I’m always being watched.

I don’t want to lose her as a friend but this can’t go on. It’s infuriating.

DEIDRE SAYS: Copying is a form of flattery and can also indicate insecurity. Your friend is trying to be like you because she respects your choices.

Try to encourage her whenever she makes a choice independent of your influence to help raise her confidence.

Make a concerted effort to spend time with other friends – and encourage her to do the same, so you don’t feel as frustrated and she learns to develop her own relationships and choices.

NEXT IN TODAY'S DEAR DEIDRE I started drinking more around my birthday and now I can't stop

READ DEIDRE'S PHOTO CASEBOOK Jamie is more interested in hanging out with Lara’s brother than with her

GET IN TOUCH How the page works and how to contact us

    Source: Read Full Article