I regret sleeping with my lodger – I don't want him in my home

DEAR DEIDRE: I HAVE made the mistake of starting a relationship with my lodger.

He’s a lovely man but is making himself at home on my side of the house.


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I don’t know how to break it to him that I don’t want him in my home any more.

I’ve had lodgers since my husband left me. It’s how I manage the mortgage.

I’m 53 and he’s 54. He has his own bedroom, bathroom and sitting room but shares the kitchen with me.

To begin with, it worked well. We would take it in turns to cook for each other in the evenings and I enjoyed the company.

But once we started our relationship, he stopped making an effort.

He’d no longer cook but still expected me to make his meals.

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Yet he never offers to do any shopping or clearing up.

I feel stuck because I don’t want to be the cause of him being made homeless. But I can’t bear to have him here.

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DEIDRE SAYS: It seems your good nature is being taken advantage of.

Set clear expectations around cooking, shopping and cleaning. And let him know that if he wants to stay, he must do his bit – otherwise you will have to evaluate the situation.

Let him know you feel taken for granted. If things don’t improve, you are within your rights to give him notice to find some-where else to live.

He is not your responsibility and needs to pull his weight to show you he appreciates you – if he is to stay there.

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