Im a rampant sex addict – I hate romance and just want to bonk all the time
Successive girlfriends have complained that I’m a sex addict.
One lover left me in the middle of a holiday ranting that I’m only interested in one thing. She said I made her feel like an object.
She complained I have no conversation, no sense of humour nor interest in anyone else – only a raging libido. That hurt.
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What am I supposed to do? The fact is that she was right. Sex is all I ever think about.
I’m not interested in sport, a career or friends. I work simply to make money and keep the wolf from the door.
I can attract women, but they don’t stay long once they realise how shallow I am. At the moment I’m dating a wonderful girl who thinks I’m cute.
We’ve been together a couple of weeks and do nothing but romp in bed. She thinks we’re in our honeymoon period and assumes it will calm down soon, but this is normal for me – no amount of sex is ever too much.
She’s just started talking about visiting restaurants for candlelit meals and enjoying romantic walks on the beach. I can’t stand that sissy time-wasting stuff.
She’s also asked if she can meet my family, but there’s no way I can risk that. I know my parents and brothers would take great delight in telling her all about my chequered dating/sexual history and all the girls I’ve loved and lost over the years.
I don’t want to be like this. But what am I supposed to do when there’s a raging fire burning inside me?
JANE SAYS: Any kind of obsessive behaviour can be helped.
Your first call must be to your GP. You need to explain to him or her how your addiction to sex is affecting and ruining your life. Find out what help is available. Check out Sexaholics Anonymous (sauk.org), which is a fellowship. The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop lusting and become sexually sober.
As for your girlfriend – do you tell her what’s on her mind? My first instinct has to be “yes”. You can’t continue this relationship on a lie. She has to know what she’s dealing with.
Pick your moment and tell her that you fear you’re addicted to sex but are trying to seek professional help.
The risk is that you may scare her away, but I think she deserves some honesty.
I suggest you go to see your parents on your own and explain about your situation. Emphasise that this girl is special to you and you really don’t want to blow this relationship.
Beg them to keep the wisecracks to a minimum and not embarrass her or you. Then seek out your brothers, one by one, and come clean. Be honest with them about your problem – so that everything is finally out in the open and you can get the treatment you crave and need.
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