DEAR DEIDRE: AFTER she failed to protect our nine-year-old daughter from her abusive boyfriend, I don’t want my ex to have any contact with her.
I’m 36 and finally won custody last year.
My ex partner was incapable of looking after our daughter when she got with a dodgy boyfriend three years ago.
I was never keen on the guy because he was a heavy drinker and would row with my ex, even when our daughter was home.
There would be times I would turn up and see bruises on my ex, but she never took my advice to leave him and endured years of abuse.
Sadly it got so bad that her partner started to lose his temper with our daughter and even hit her about.
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I am heartbroken that this happened without my knowledge.
I should have been there to protect her.
I am deeply disappointed with my ex and have lost all respect for her.
That’s why I ignored her requests to visit our daughter. But now she has applied through the courts for access.
I’ve been told she will only be given supervised access at most but I am beside myself with despair.
I’m so scared to let my daughter go in case anything happens to her again.
Our daughter is still traumatised from the events.
She’s been wetting the bed and playing up at school.
I’m worried seeing her mother will only rake things up again.
I feel like I’m the only one with our daughter’s best interests at heart but no one is listening to me.
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DEIDRE SAYS: I sympathise with you and, understandably, you want to do everything to protect your daughter.
Please be assured the court will carefully consider your daughter’s age as well as her physical and emotional needs.
And you can request that visitation is supervised in a children’s contact centre.
I know this is hard for you, but it is important a safe space is created for mother and child to repair their bond.
Please contact Family Lives (familylives.org.uk) who can advise anyone concerned about a parenting issue.
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