DEAR DEIDRE: I’VE never had consensual sex after being abused as a teenager.
Now I’m 22 and have met a lovely boyfriend, who is 23.
For more advice from Dear Deidre
No issue is too small, too large or too embarrassing. Read our personal replies here.
- Dear Deidre on Mental Health
- Dear Deidre on Identity
- Dear Deidre on Debt and Money
- Dear Deidre on Work
- Dear Deidre on Health and Wellbeing
- Dear Deidre on Addiction
We have been together nearly a year and he knows about my past and under-stands I’m scared of sex.
Next month is our first anniversary so we were planning a weekend away.
I was really looking forward to it until he casually said he would never force sex.
Why would he say that?
Now I’m considering cancelling the weekend.
I’ve explained I don’t know if I will ever be able to have intercourse and it will take me a long time to build up the confidence.
Get in touch with Deidre
Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.
Send an email to [email protected]
You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.
His answer was he could wait a maximum of six months!
Now I feel like there’s a clock ticking away in the background the whole time and it’s stressing me out.
DEIDRE SAYS: Your boyfriend may have tried to reassure you that he would never want to jeopardise your trust but unfortunately his blunt words have had the opposite effect.
You would certainly benefit from talking to a counsellor who can help you deal with your trauma – something you will need to do before you can move on to a fulfilling sexual relationship.
Explain to him a time limit is not helpful but reassure him you are getting support in overcoming the abuse.
Most read in Dear Deidre
My cheating husband has rejected me again – he's spending NYE with his mistress
I regret cheating on my wife and fear she will leave me for good
I think my husband is having an affair with young woman at his work
US company tells me I owe major debt and I worry it is a scam
Please get in touch with Tavistock Relationships who can help you (tavistockrelationships.org, 020 7380 1960).
NEXT IN TODAY'S DEAR DEIDRE My right testicle has swollen up & I'm afraid it's cancer
READ DEIDRE'S PHOTO CASEBOOKLuke gets a New Year's Day shock
GET IN TOUCH How the page works and how to contact us
Source: Read Full Article