My brother hasn't had any contact with our mum for three years

DEAR DEIDRE: MY brother refuses to have any relationship with our mum and it’s making life difficult for all of us.

They haven’t spoken for nearly three years.

My brother is 43, I’m a 50-year-old man and our mum is 76.


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Our father got back in touch in 2018, 20 years after our parents had split.

Dad was still incredibly bitter and blamed mum for tearing the family apart – while also admitting he had cheated several times.

My brother stormed round to mum’s and had a blazing row, which ended in him pushing her.

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Mum is willing to forgive and forget, but my brother isn’t.

After a tough year, we just want everyone back together.

DEIDRE SAYS: Your brother is obviously frustrated he missed out on a relationship with his dad, but there is no excuse for violence.

He would be better off focusing on building strong relationships with both parents rather than trying to find fault.

Unfortunately you can’t force them to reconcile.

Suggest your mum writes him a letter to reopen communication.

If this doesn’t work, Standalone (standalone.org.uk) helps adults estranged from family members.

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