My husband ignores me all day but becomes really loving when he wants sex

DEAR DEIDRE:  MY partner ignores me all day but is a completely different man come bedtime.

I’m 41 and my partner is 43. We have been together for 20 years.

I love him but have lost all interest in having sex with him.

He makes me feel like he’s not interested in me throughout the day and doesn’t speak a word to me.

In bed he changes completely. He starts being lovey-dovey but it’s just because he wants to have sex.

I have had enough and I am starting to feel like I am being used.

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DEIDRE SAYS: I’m not surprised but he won’t change until you spell out to him how unhappy you are.

It could be down to the way he was brought up.

Maybe he’s mirroring his parents’ relationship, so his behaviour does not seem abnormal to him.

Talk to him about what makes him rejecting and cold and whether he is open to trying to change.

If not, you may have to walk away.

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