RICHARD LITTLEJOHN: Need an ambulance? Dial 999 for gender fluid
Further evidence that Our Amazing NHS has been captured by Stonewall is confirmed by the news that 999 operators have been ordered to ask all callers for their pronouns.
Genuine emergencies now come a distant second to ensuring that ‘service users’ don’t suffer the indignity of being misgendered.
Call handlers have been told not to refer to people as ‘sir’ or ‘madam’, just in case it offends the tiny minority who define as ‘trans’.
Ambulance drivers in Berks and Bucks are warned: ‘Irrespective of the tone of a person’s voice, we should not assume gender.’
Just because someone sounds like Barry White on the phone, she could still identify as Beyonce.
The idea that staff could actually face prosecution for using the wrong pronouns, however innocently, is scandalous, writes Richard Littlejohn
Kent, Surrey and Sussex tell staff: ‘Inappropriate pronouns cause stress and may make a difficult situation worse.’
You don’t say.
I’d have thought that insisting on using the politically correct pronoun of someone having a massive heart attack would merely add to their distress.
He/she/they? You can call me Al. Just send a bloody ambulance sharpish.
Lincolnshire Hospital Trust even goes one step beyond, threatening staff with discipline ‘and/or prosecution’ if they use the wrong pronouns.
And to add to the confusion, the trust insists that: ‘Some genderqueer people prefer to be referred to alternatively as he and she (my italics) and some people prefer to use only their name and not use pronouns at all.’
Goodbye Sam, hello Samantha. Or should that be the other way round today?
The idea that staff could actually face prosecution for using the wrong pronouns, however innocently, is scandalous.
It only serves to illustrate how deeply the Stonewall protection racket has penetrated the health service. As many as 30 NHS trusts are signed up to its extreme version of trans rights.
They should cut out the middle man and simply add NHS to the LGBTQWERTY+ alphabet soup.
Stonewall, once an admirable organisation which long since achieved its principal aim of homosexual equality under the law, now seems to be a cynical big business rather than a ‘charity’.
It has raked in more than £3 million selling ‘advice’ to everyone from financial institutions to schools, colleges and assorted public bodies.
For a very reasonable £2,500 a pop, it will award your organisation ‘Diversity Champion’ status, the woke equivalent of a Blue Peter badge. But anyone who doesn’t get with the programme is in danger of being named and shamed, labelled ‘homophobic’ and ‘transphobic’.
Nice little NHS Trust you’ve got here. Wouldn’t want anything to happen to it.
So alarmed have ministers and business leaders become at Stonewall’s pernicious influence, that many organisations — including government departments and even the equalities commission — have withdrawn from the scheme.
The Department of Health has itself pulled out, but local NHS trusts continue to swallow Stonewall’s ‘guidance’, rather than risk reputational damage.
It’s not as if they’ve anything else to do, what with waiting lists at record levels, a third of GPs no longer accepting bookings for routine appointments, cancer treatment targets dropped and the ambulance service in disarray.
All this against a backdrop of politically-motivated strikes by junior doctors. Yet the self-righteous prigs who run the NHS would rather play pronoun police than look after patients.
You can judge the state of the health service by the way in which it responds to life-or-death emergencies. So yesterday this column dialled 999 to put it to the test . . .
Thank you for calling the NHS England 999 emergency hotline. All calls are recorded and closely monitored for hate speech. Any misgendering will be reported immediately to the police.
Assistance is available in 237 different languages, many of them Scribble. If you are hoping to cross the border from Wales or Scotland for treatment, press 1 for Welsh; press 2 for Gaelic; press 3 for Glaswegian.
Your call is important to us. You are being held in a queue. The current waiting list is . . . 7.5million.
Before we can assist you in your emergency, we must register your preferred pronouns and gender identity. Please choose from the following 107 options. For cisgender, press 1; for bi-gender, press 2; for gender fluid, press 3.
For trans man, press 1; for trans woman, press 2; for Two Spirit, press 3. Thank you for holding. The current waiting list is . . . 7.6 million.
While you are waiting, we offer a choice of muzak. For Abba, press 1; for Judy Garland, press 2; for the Pet Shop Boys, press 3.
For genderqueer, press 1; for gender bender, press 2; for gender questioning, press 3.
For homosexual, press one; for bi-sexual, press 2; for zoo sexual, press 3 and you will be transferred to the keeper at Whipsnade.
For all other other gender identities, please stay on the line and an operator will assist you momentarily. The current waiting list is . . . 7.7 million.
Now, let’s establish your preferred pronouns. For he/him, press 1; for she/her, press 2; for they/them, press 3.
Ambulances outside the A&E department of St Thomas hospital, London
If you are calling from Lincolnshire, you may choose from a further range of options. For ze, press 1; for hir, press 2; for ey, press 3.
If you remain confused about your gender identity and pronouns, you can always visit our website ourworldclassnhs.com. Should you prefer to hold, you will be transferred to the first available operator. The current waiting list is . . . 7.8 million.
If you are hoping to make a face-to-face appointment with your GP, press 1 for the engaged tone; press 2 for Vivaldi; press 3 to be cut off.
If you are planning to attend A&E, don’t bother because all our junior doctors are on strike. If you wish to discuss an upcoming appointment with your oncologist or cardiologist, all our consultants are unavailable because they are currently getting paid £2,000 a day filling in for striking junior doctors. The current waiting list is . . . 7.9 million.
If your cancer treatment has been cancelled again, press 1 for an appointment sometime in the next five years; press 2 to go private; press 3 for the Samaritans.
If you are having a heart attack or have fallen down stairs, press 1 for an ambulance which should be with you in the next six to eight hours, although you’d be better off booking an Uber. If you fancy spending the night on a trolley in a hospital corridor, press 2. If you’d rather take an aspirin, press 3. The current waiting list is . . . 8 million.
If you are a ‘birthing person’ and you think your baby is on the way, press the red button on your Sky remote and go to the catch up section. Full instructions can be found on Call The Midwife.
If you are an asylum seeker who has entered Britain illegally and you are calling from a prison ship in Portland, Dorset, a doctor will be with you immediately. Press 1 for sea-sickness; press 2 for scurvy; press 3 for Legionnaires’ disease. Don’t forget your pronouns . . .
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